Operation Put Potter Off
by rereaderliz
Summary: "Evans, you are heart-stoppingly gorgeous this morning, as always. It's a miracle mine hasn't given out yet." James Potter has a routine of complimenting Lily Evans every morning and she decides to put an end to it once and for all. JP/LE, ONESHOT, COMPLETE


**A/N: Hi all! Trying my hand at a JP/LE upon request of my first reviewer CoRal13…please give feedback!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. JK owns them. JK also owns me. JK probably owns you if we're being honest.**

 **1209 words, oneshot, complete**

Every morning, James Potter came up with a more and more ridiculous greetings and compliments for Lily Evans. He'd kept it up since the first day of their sixth year, and now, three months later, it was nearing the winter holidays, students in the Great Hall for breakfast looked forward to the Potter compliment of the day as they did to the delivery of the Daily Prophet. Its regularity could be relied upon and it was always good for a few laughs or possibly jealous sighs from James' admirers.

"Are you positive you don't have any Veela heritage, Evans? Because your beauty and allure are _overpowering_ on this fine morning."

"Evans, your beauty absolutely dwarfs that of every celestial body in the sky."

"Evans, you are heart-stoppingly gorgeous this morning, as always. It's a miracle I haven't had a heart attack yet."

"Evans, you put Helen of Troy to shame when you walk in here looking like that. Your face could launch one million ships with ease."

"If I could bottle and sell your beauty secrets, Evans, I'd be able to buy every flower on the planet for you."

"Evans, my future wife, may I just say that you look ravishing today and that you light up the entire Hall more effectively than the sun ever could merely by entering."

"Attention everyone, the most perfect woman ever born graces the plebeians with her presence! Evans approaches, and she is the absolute pinnacle of femininity, people. Note the shining lustrousness of her red hair, the flawless slope of her nose, the curve of her mouth, the subtle flare of her hips in that becoming uniform—"

Lily, passing by James's seat at the Gryffindor table, smacked him on the back of his untidy head with her rolled-up Transfiguration essay for the hips comment. His housemates snickered as his besotted expression never wavered while he turned to watch the owner of the hips continue past his spot.

"You are as shameless as you are repulsive, Potter. It's truly a remarkable feat," Lily called over her shoulder at him.

"Did you hear that, Padfoot? It's a feat. I take that to mean that I'm very impressive to her."

"Sure, Prongs. I can just hear the wedding bells ringing now. I assume I'll be the best man."

Lily rolled her eyes as she sat down with Mary McDonald and Marlene McKinnon, several seats down from Potter and his merry band of marauding idiots.

"Can you believe his nerve? When is Potter going to grow up already? I mean, really, he's going to be of age in March and here he still is publicly humiliating me!"

Mary and Marlene shared a glance across the table. James may have spent all his time talking about Lily, but she spent nearly as much time talking about him, even if most of that consisted of rants fueled by his endless barrage of compliments.

Marlene cleared her throat. "Lil, does it really bother you that much? I mean, it's not like he's saying mean things about you. It's all undying love and everlasting devotion and unceasing admiration and whatnot."

Lily shot Marlene a look of betrayal. "Yes it really bothers me! The rest of the school sees it as so _entertaining_ , but I'm sick of it! I wish he'd just leave me alone for once. What is it going to take?"

Mary had been listening and a devious idea was starting to take shape in her mind. It would either get James to lay off or show Lily that his interest in her was based in more than her good looks.

"Would you be willing to potentially suffer a bit of extra humiliation one day in order to stop it all for good?" Mary asked thoughtfully.

"Probably. What do you have in mind?" Lily replied, ready to do almost anything to put an end to the public displays.

Mary laid out her idea and the three Gryffindor sixth-year girls all leaned closer to the center of the table to fine-tune the plan. Operation Put Potter Off would commence tomorrow morning, and with any luck Lily would never have to be part of the breakfast entertainment again.

The Great Hall gradually fell quiet as Lily Evans entered for breakfast the following day. As she strode through the doors, silence seemed to ripple out from her and all four tables were noiseless by the time she had reached James Potter and stood behind his spot on the bench.

Lily's hair hung in greasy chunks around her face (Mary had been inspired by Lily's ex-friend Severus Snape). Instead of her usual tasteful makeup, Lily's face looked a bit like her makeup bag had simply exploded in her vicinity. Her face and body had been hit with bloating hexes, resulting in puffiness and slight discoloration. Her robes and uniform were clearly unwashed and slightly rank-smelling, and she sported a large stain of a sickly greenish color on her midsection. She'd never looked worse, and she was _thrilled._

Her expression was faintly triumphant. She and her friends had meticulously made sure this morning that there was absolutely _nothing_ praiseworthy in her appearance today. Success was guaranteed for Operation Put Potter Off, because any person with two functioning eyes would be frankly disgusted by Lily today.

Lily hadn't counted on Potter, half-blind tosser that he was, being immune to this brilliant plan.

The entire Great Hall watched the two Gryffindors with bated breath. It was sure that it would either be a Potter compliment for the ages, one to tell their grandchildren about, or they would be witnessing the final end of Potter compliments forever.

James turned around calmly on the bench to face her, appearing for all the world nonchalant and acting as if he had not noticed her dramatic makeunder or the reaction from the Hogwarts students.

"You know, Lily, they say eyes are the windows to the soul and I have been always been aware that your soul is as sparkling and bright and beautiful as your eyes are."

Lily gaped at him, disbelieving. He'd…but she looked atrocious…how had the plan backfired this badly? Now she looked awful in front of the entire school and he was _still_ complimenting her!

She was snapped from her reverie by a storm of applause that seemed to have originated from Mary and Marlene. Those backstabbing traitors! Had they known what was going to happen when they implemented Operation Put Potter Off?

Lily noticed that James, to his credit, had not reacted to the applause but instead acted as if the compliment had been private and not a source of entertainment for the students. Instead he swiveled back around and went back to eating his bacon and eggs. The marauders were all looking at him approvingly.

Still in a slight daze, Lily found her way to where her "friends" were sitting and snickering. She plopped down on the bench, questioning everything she had known. She had known that Potter was shallow and an attention seeker and nearly a bully. But today she felt like up was down and left was right. Was it possible that James Potter actually liked her as a _person_?

Mary and Marlene smirked at each other and shared a high-five.

 **A/N: Comments? Compliments? Concerns? All are welcome in the reviews or in my PMs…This is only my second fic so I'd love feedback to know if anyone is liking these!**


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